Do you, as the cool kids say, have any “problematic faves”? I do, and it’s Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.

In honor of love and bad dialogue, I watch this trainwreck of a movie every Valentine’s Day. I delight in Obi-Wan’s (actually good) plotline, Padme’s fabulous wardrobe, and the so-bad-it’s-exquisite writing.

So if you love Star Wars or want validation in your choice to stay single today, have I got the love sonnet for you.

Behold, a ChatGPT-manufactured sonnet from Anakin to Padme:

My dearest Padme, I must confess,
Your beauty leaves me in a mess,
When you talk of democracy and laws,
I nod along, though my mind withdraws.

I hate sand, it’s coarse and rough,
But your smooth skin, it’s never enough,
To calm the fire, that rages inside,
A love for you, I can never hide.

You speak of politics, and limited powers,
I listen closely, though my mind cowers,
I may not understand, but I’ll nod along,
For the prettiest girl, I can do no wrong.

My dearest Padme, my love is true,
Though I may not get what you pursue,
Your beauty and grace, it’s all I see,
And my love for you, it will always be.