I’ll let you in on a little secret: My cat Max is learning how to use ChatGPT, too.

He may not have opposable thumbs, or an understanding of words beyond “Max,” “Mama’s Handsome,” “Love Lion,” “Mister Kisses,” or “Minnie,” but that’s beside the point.

He’s five years and 15 pounds of playfulness, silliness, and sweet devotion.

In other words, the opposite of my other cat, Minnie.

Minnie, who may or may not have the nickname “General Kisses,” is a force of nature. She’s a tabby with 24 toes, a Napoleon complex, and the hangry scream of a Wagnerian opera singer.

Naturally, Max is utterly in love with her.

So, here’s the love sonnet he asked ChatGPT to write in honor of his fur-ever love:

My dearest Minnie, with paws so fine,
Your love for food, a hunger divine,
A feast for the senses, a delight so pure,
Your appetite, a joy to endure.

With every meal, your heart takes flight,
Your taste buds dancing in pure delight,
And though I hunger for food, it’s true,
My love for you, always comes through.

For in your eyes, I see a plea,
A hunger for food that’s meant for me,
And though my stomach grumbles low,
I let you eat, a love I’ll always show.

With every morsel, I let you dine,
My love for you, a gesture divine,
For in your happiness, my heart takes flight,
Your love for food, my true delight.

My dearest Minnie, my love so true,
I’ll let you eat, a gift for you,
For in your love, my heart does purr,
My love, my food will always be yours.